When your marrige is in the rough, we have this thing called Divorce… I know that some religions do not agree with divorce and so on, but it is a legal way to end a marrige rather than killing one another. Good Grief…. Sorry buddy your life is over too… I would rather have a ex- than be in prison for ever or get the death penelty

I was crying i laughed so hard after reading this……

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary
submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked
my interest; The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for
a little something extra for my wife.

What I came across was a
100, 000- volt, pocket/ purse-sized taser ; The effects of the taser were
supposed to be short lived , with no long- term adverse affect on your
assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short , I bought the device and brought it home and loaded two
AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button; Nothing.
I was disappointed.

I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue
arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs; AWESOME!!!
( Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to my wife what that burn spot is on
the face of her microwave. ..)

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right ? There
I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently ( trusting little
soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and
thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat.

But, if I was going to
give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did
want some assurance that it would work as advertised .

Am I wrong ?

So, there I sat in a pair of short s and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one
hand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst
would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was
supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a
three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the
ground like a fish out of water .

Any burst longer than three seconds
would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I’m looking at this little
device  measuring about 5” long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference;
pretty cute really and ( loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries)
thinking to myself, ‘no possible way! ‘ What happened next is almost
beyond description, but I’ll do my best. ……

I’m sitting there alone , Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side as to say, ‘ don’ t do it dipshit’, reasoning that a one second burst
from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad..

I decided
to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it.

I touched the prong s to my naked thigh , pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION WHAT THE HELL! !!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me
up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
over and over again !!! I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the
fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on
fire, testicles nowhere to be found , with my left arm tucked under my
body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making
meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame
hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting
slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever
feel compelled to ‘ mug’ yourself with a taser , one note of caution:
there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You
will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a
violent thrashing about on the floor .

A three second burst would be
considered conservative! ( SON- OF- A- BITCH , THAT HURT LIKE HELL! !!)

A minute or so later (I can’ t be sure, as time was a relative thing at
that point ), I collected my wits ( what little I had left) , sat up and
surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of
the fireplace.

The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from
where it originally was.

My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were
still twitching.

My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain,
and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense
of smell was gone.

I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I
believe came from my hair.

I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m
offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it! If you
think Education is difficult, try being stupid!!

‘Joe the Plumber’ Backs Claim That Obama Would Bring ‘Death to Israel’ Joe Wurzelbacher, on his first campaign trail appearance for John McCain, says he agrees that a vote for Barack Obama would be “a vote for the death to Israel.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? This guy is now on the campaign trail? All the foreign policy experts in the world and we going to take this guys word, that Israel will be in dire straits if Obama is elected?

Wasn’t it the Clinton administration that had the Israeli and Palestinian governments almost set up for Peace? Wasn’t it the Bush administration that let it go and put it on hold… I just…, can’t… dunno…  WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?

EEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

BTW http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/10/28/joe-plumber-backs-claim-obama-bring-death-israel/comments/

PPLM Beta 1.0.0 Is now available free of charge for testing. after a 1 month review period I will make sujested applicable changes and release verision 1.0.

You can view a Demo Here

Or download it Here

Please send me you thoughts and comments!